Tuesday, May 30, 2006

catfish like whoa

My dad caught a 50 pound catfish yesterday. Waaaaaahhhhhhhh. Look at that man's face. He is a happy man.

Friday, May 26, 2006

I'm a roller. It's what I do.

A random post for Friday, because this blog has been about as much fun as the stretchmarks on my ass lately.

1) "Costner" is my new adjective. If you ask me how shit is going, I may say "Man, my shit is so Costner." Tell me that does not have a ring to it and I will slap you in your lying mouth.

2)My air conditioning went out two days ago and, after all kinds of rolling around on the ground, exposing sweaty ass-fros, etc., the repairmen (a team, I have dubbed them Mario and Luigi) pronounced that the problem was not the air conditioning unit itself but the "Motherboard." Hold up mayne, I said, taking my tie off, this air conditioner was installed in 1985, dude. Are you telling me it has a computer in it? Apparently it does. I was thinking, this computer must be like buried underneath the house, looking like the "Lost" hatch and shit, with some dude feeding punch cards into it when we adjust the thermostat. They had to order a replacement motherboard from some other country or something. My air conditioner is international like the house of pancakes.

3) The "Dazed & Confused" Special Edition DVD is OUT NOWWWWWWW! And oh my fucking god it looks incredible. CRITERION! We have to have a party to watch this DVD! And the party needs to have special features.

Wooderson: Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.

WOODERSONNNNNNNNNNN! I'm out of control, I am gonna order this DVD right the fuck now. Go go gadget credit card!

4) Me and Sara Hebert are designing my book right now, and me and Bill are fine tuning the script for "The Scheme of Things." The book is called "My Cloven Feet," collects almost 100 pages of short stories by yours truly, and features a commissioned piece of cover art by the talented Shannon Palmer. So in theory, I am being very productive right now. In theory.

Monday, May 22, 2006

We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol.

I just bought the above t-shirt from www.sneakmove.com.

The shirt costs $16, $20 with shipping, and all of the proceeds benefit Save Darfur. Plus it is a nice image of a moment worth remembering.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Progress report

My brother's step-daughter, Jilly, using FruityLoops. She is actually very, very good at it. I plan on rhyming over one of her beats. She's an amazing child.

A new King Hippo song is currently being cooked up (albeit at very low volumes, given the fact that I am having some eardrum troubles). It's called "Hearts for Dots," and features me rhyming about getting beat up over a beat created by Brad Demarest, my fucking hero. The song is kind of limericky tongue-twister that tells a narrative story - I haven't done many story-songs and I wanted to try it for the experience. I'm pretty happy with the results, and working with Lumenz is a blast, as always.

Here's the first verse:

Now I'm fighting guys in this parking lot
because a girl's writing I's using hearts for dots
in love letters to the don juan de marksalot
on the regular, they drop through the slot
and I swear this is love
I don't mean to scare ya'll,
I took her to the donut shop, we shared a bearclaw
engaged in some grown-up talk
then she bared all
said she had a guy
i put my cup down slow
i tried to act cooler but I couldn't fool her, so
I took a coffee and a crueller to go
and I probably could've wooed her but her beaux was such a bruiser
so I played the loser just
let her go

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

You know about me dog

Sara's graduation party. We are ready to conduct some serious damned work.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I would have done the same damned thing.