Overheard in my office

Person 1: "I quit smoking for three months, but then I got attacked by this housecat and started smoking again."

Person 2: "Ha ha...uh..."

Person 1: "No, seriously. It was awful. I was mauled by a housecat."

Person 2: "Oh my God. I didn't know."

Person 1: "Yeah, so now I have this nervous disorder and I smoke."

FOR REAL.